My Mental Health and How I’m Feeling | #2

Hello everyone, welcome back

Today I have decided to do another of these posts as it has been two months since I posted my last so I thought I’d give you an update of everything because quite a few things have changed.

In my last mental health post I mentioned my struggle with maths and actually attending college and college basically being a big obstacle for me to tackle everyday. Things have changed a little bit with that in mind.
Coming to college now is easier. When I wrote my last post, things were difficult in college due to my tutor being off and there being a big workload in his absence. As well as that, there was college drama which  I will not be mentioning at all on this blog. (Purely because its pointless putting it on the internet and basically putting everything on here)

On Thursday of last week (16th) I attended my first counselling session, which went well but basically made me an anxious wreck. All I’ll say is I’m going to counselling to help my anxiety within college, and hopefully it’ll help me find college easier.

College still isn’t the easiest thing or place for me to go, because the struggles I have with anxiety and I’ll be honest by saying things have been a lot easier recently and I think that’s purely because I’m blocking drama out, and irrelevant people who seem to have made me have that struggle of coming into college.

In other things, I have only had one attack in the past month and a half which I’m really happy about because when I’m having an attack, I really don’t know what to do with myself and all I can concentrate on is the fact I can’t breathe and my chest is closing in on me, and its the only thing on my mind when having an attack, nevermind trying to calm the attack itself.

I think what has helped me most is the fact I’ve been surrounding myself with friends and my friendship group from high school (We’ve stayed friends all through primary and high school, and still going strong) and they really help me when I’m feeling crappy. In college I quite literally have three people in my class who are always there when I feel down.

Something else that I think has really helped is I have recently gotten in a relationship, and after my last relationship, I have been so scared of getting hurt again and the best thing for me is the fact I can trust him so so much and when I’m around him I feel like I can relax and be myself and feel safe and good about myself. He’s a very important person to me and I adore him so much. (If you’re reading this, I can’t thank you enough and I love you <3 )

So to tell you honestly, I’m feeling so much better the last couple of months and I want to thank everyone who has helped me the past month or two. You’re incredible.

Thankyou all very much for reading,

Until next time,

~Abi

 

Why I Love December | Blogmas Days 16 & 17

Hello everyone, welcome back.

Today I have a post about why I love December so much. This is also an apology for not posting  yesterday so I’m aiming to make this quite a lengthy post to make up for it.

I love love every season in many ways and every year something changes for me about each season and each month.

First off, the change in temperature is obviously a massive one. Every morning when I leave for college at 7.15am, it is absolutely freezing and it feels like my nose will genuinely fall off from frosting! The wind is sometimes too chilly for my liking, but other times it is more of a nice, fresh wind which doesn’t make me want to run to the nearest house and cuddle up in a blanket.
At the moment in the UK, the temperature is so confusing. I think it must have been last week where the temperature around my local area was something like 13 degrees to at least 14/15, which is absolutely insane. However, that temperature didn’t really last long and dropped as soon as people started appreciating it. For me the temperature falling is great because it means I can wear big fluffy bulky coats and lovely warm jumpers and buy think scarves to basically strangle myself to make sure I’m kept warm!

I’ve had the same winter coat for about two years now because I don’t personally think its necessary to go out and buy a new coat every year just for the winter time. I love mine as it was in a massive sale where it used to be something around £30 from the F&F range in Tesco and its lasted me so long and its generally great for the winter months from October to February.

The next thing I love about December is the lights on the houses. For example, I really love warm toned lights where you can look at your Christmas Tree and really appreciate the vast difference of the temperature of your home compared to the temperature of the outside world. When I’m walking past houses where people have their Christmas tree up, I love to take a few seconds to look at it. I mainly like the warm tones because again, I just think they make you feel warm and it gives you a Christmas feel!

I don’t like icy cold lights based around cold colours – like white or light blue because they just give such a cold atmosphere and if I’m being honest, they’re uncomfortable to look at. (Personal preference – please don’t kill me if you absolutely adore icy blue white lights)

The warm drinks have to be one of my favourite things about December because you can drink as many cold drinks as you please and not feel guilty about how much tea or coffee or hot chocolate you drank that day. My personal favourite this month has definitely been buying a Mint Hot Chocolate from Costa Coffee (I get a medium size every time) and they’re £3.55 so you can’t really go wrong in all honesty. My mum also bought sachets of mint hot chocolate to try and save me from spending so much on the Costa drinks…Oops.

I think the next best thing about December has to be the festivity that appears so suddenly every year, and how fast December flies by. It is currently the 17th when I’m writing and posting this and that means there is a week until Christmas Eve and then obviously eight days until Christmas Day which is absolutely insane. This month has absolutely flown and the festivity I think has quite literally come out of no where. There are so many people doing Blogmas and Vlogmas and anything with ‘Mas’ on the end to try and make their content as festive as possible and this year I’m doing it myself and trying my very best to upload something to my blog everyday.
In the town where I live, we have a Christmas tree in the centre of town. Last year it was amazing and big and huge and impressive. This year it just looks like a bog standard pine tree someone decided to go and chop down. So – the residents of the town have tried to make that tree as festive as possible and bring some festive positivity to the little tree and its been so lovely watching people go into the town to buy baubles and tinsel and all sorts to put on the tree, and parents are contributing with their children to allow them to know the good in Christmas.

Finally, the last thing I love about December is the earlier nights and how it gets dark so much faster. For me, this means I can get home and snuggle up with a warm drink to keep me going for the night rather than being cold and having a cold drink instead of a hot one. (If that makes sense!)
When I get the bus home after a long day of college, (the bus turns up / should turn up at 4:45 and I get home around 6) getting off the bus and walking down past the local park is really quite eerie and dark and sometimes foggy and I think getting home from being in the darkness is something I love and I really don’t quite understand why. The warmth of my house always fogs my glasses up too, which shows how cold it really is outside! Even on the weekends I notice the darkness more. It is now 3:29 and I can already tell from the colour of the sky its beginning to get dark already and I’ve been up for seven hours and had seven hours of daylight since being awake. The other 9 hours left of the day will be spent in darkness. How strange.

Anyway!

At the moment, I have written 978 words so this post is getting a wee bit long and I still have a featured image to edit. Also, I just want to thank everyone for all the lovely comments I’ve received recently and all the likes on my various posts. I really appreciate it and it really gives me the motivation to carry this blog on for you all to enjoy and read.

Thank you all for reading and I hope you have a lovely last festive week before Christmas dawns on us next Sunday!

Until next time,

~Abi

A Mini Haul | Blogmas Day 15

Hello all, welcome back.

Again I apologise for this post being late. This evening has consisted of chilling after a semi-stressful week and wrapping more presents.

Today I’m going to share with you a few bits I got this week because I got a couple of things for myself and a few from my college Secret Santa.

First off I got a Black Seaweed Peel off face mask from Superdrug because they’re 99p and you can’t go wrong. I got this one because it said it was suitable for oily skin which is a combination I have (combined with normal) so I decided to try it out. I took this photo whilst wearing the mask and it has definitely left my face less oily and slightly more matte which I love.

I then got another because again, you can’t go wrong. I love peel off masks purely for the fact they’re easier to take off and they’re satisfying to peel!

Eden got me a few bits for secret santa so she got me these bath fizzes which smell amazing.

This gorgeous lipstick from ‘Deluxe’ in ’09 Chicago’. And she also got me coffee because I like coffee as mentioned in ‘My Sudden Love for Coffee’ post.

I also got a chocolate bar from my friend Ruth and I’ve demolished it so here’s a picture of when the wrapper contained chocolate….

And finally Megan got me this adorable keyring of Thor and I’m in love and she’s made my day and I love her to pieces so again thank you Meg!

I’m so grateful to my lovely college friends for getting me bits and pieces! It’s honestly so lovely of you all.

I again apologise for not a very lengthy post. Let me know in the comments if you prefer shorter or longer blog posts.

Until next time,

~Abi♡

~

Contact me at abimoss14@gmail.com ♡

My Mental Health and How I’m Feeling | Blogmas Day 14

Hello everyone welcome back.

I apologise for uploading so late but I’ve been busy with wrapping presents and responding to an exciting email!

I just wanted to put a post together talking about my mental health currently and where I feel I stand with it and just generally how I’m feeling.

So.

Currently at this moment, my main college tutor has been signed off for two weeks following the ceiling falling on his head. (Unfortunate – I know) Meaning I’m stressed and down and really not sure what is and what’s not getting marked whilst the other tutors teach us.

This is immensely caving on me right now and I’ve had a breakdown last week where I just lost it and cried and pondered for hours how much work there really is to do. Without my tutor being in, our whole class is quite literally stumped.

This has effected me badly as I’m finding it harder and harder to make it to college everyday because I have no motivation to get work done.

I’m also studying maths (again) in college because I need a C and the college are refusing to let me get anyway with it because this is my third time sitting the maths foundation paper. (I’m from North Wales meaning I sat the exam in year 10 and 11. My College is in cheshire and they’ve only sat it once.) Maths on top of everything brings me right down. My tutor is an arse (sorry) and my class is hard to work in because of people in it. I’ve hardly attended maths meaning my attendance is dropping- giving me another thing to worry about and it’s really not fun at all.  I’m not good with numbers. I want to work with photography and journalism and the media in general and I really don’t see the point in studying maths on top of studying a level 3 course.

Today at the present moment of writing this post (23.17PM G.M.T December 14th) I’m feeling okay in my head. I feel like the clouds are moving in and out constantly and never really leave my mind as a rend clear sky if you will.

I’m surrounded by the right people, just not necessarily the environment is working for me.

My blog I feel is somewhere I can come if I’m feeling down and just type my feelings onto the Internet and be okay with it because that’s what I want to do.  But in other cases I feel I’m putting myself in danger and then think people I know will see my posts and interpret them completely different to how I want to come across…

~

I’m sorry for all my blubber and randomness within this post. I’m just not entirely sure how to feel day in day out and put a brave face on and hope for the best… because it really confuses me and my brain and my emotions are everywhere.

I don’t want to make this a ridiculously long post because I simply don’t want to blubber on for a century. I had nothing to write about tonight so I decided to give you a mental health update and I hope that’s okay.

Again – till next time,

Thanks for reading

~Abi ♡

Contact me at abimoss14@gmail.com