Hello everyone welcome back.
I apologise for uploading so late but I’ve been busy with wrapping presents and responding to an exciting email!
I just wanted to put a post together talking about my mental health currently and where I feel I stand with it and just generally how I’m feeling.
Currently at this moment, my main college tutor has been signed off for two weeks following the ceiling falling on his head. (Unfortunate – I know) Meaning I’m stressed and down and really not sure what is and what’s not getting marked whilst the other tutors teach us.
This is immensely caving on me right now and I’ve had a breakdown last week where I just lost it and cried and pondered for hours how much work there really is to do. Without my tutor being in, our whole class is quite literally stumped.
This has effected me badly as I’m finding it harder and harder to make it to college everyday because I have no motivation to get work done.
I’m also studying maths (again) in college because I need a C and the college are refusing to let me get anyway with it because this is my third time sitting the maths foundation paper. (I’m from North Wales meaning I sat the exam in year 10 and 11. My College is in cheshire and they’ve only sat it once.) Maths on top of everything brings me right down. My tutor is an arse (sorry) and my class is hard to work in because of people in it. I’ve hardly attended maths meaning my attendance is dropping- giving me another thing to worry about and it’s really not fun at all. I’m not good with numbers. I want to work with photography and journalism and the media in general and I really don’t see the point in studying maths on top of studying a level 3 course.
Today at the present moment of writing this post (23.17PM G.M.T December 14th) I’m feeling okay in my head. I feel like the clouds are moving in and out constantly and never really leave my mind as a rend clear sky if you will.
I’m surrounded by the right people, just not necessarily the environment is working for me.
My blog I feel is somewhere I can come if I’m feeling down and just type my feelings onto the Internet and be okay with it because that’s what I want to do. But in other cases I feel I’m putting myself in danger and then think people I know will see my posts and interpret them completely different to how I want to come across…
I’m sorry for all my blubber and randomness within this post. I’m just not entirely sure how to feel day in day out and put a brave face on and hope for the best… because it really confuses me and my brain and my emotions are everywhere.
I don’t want to make this a ridiculously long post because I simply don’t want to blubber on for a century. I had nothing to write about tonight so I decided to give you a mental health update and I hope that’s okay.
Again – till next time,
Thanks for reading
Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org