Good evening all.
This is a slight spontaneous post and really unplanned. I decided to write about counselling and my experience with it to sort of get a point across that it isn’t always rays of sunshine and that it doesn’t necessarily help everyone.
I started counselling about a month ago and decided to discharge myself due to me not being happy at all.
I went into counselling to try and find the source of my anxiety in college and general everyday life.
To give you a brief outline, I found myself very anxious during college time for a good 3 – 4 months during the time my anxiety was at its peak. Counselling was a very controversial thing for me because I couldn’t decide on what exactly it was I wanted to do about it.
My personal tutor (who isn’t my personal tutor anymore but he needs to be) suggested a few times to me to try speaking to someone. I however, decided not to for 2 of those months purely because the thought of speaking to someone was something that scared me. I’m not one to cry to people about the way I feel, but my anxiety really didn’t make me comfortable in college and I had a fear of having a panic attack practically everywhere I went.
So to get into my counselling experience- To start with, I didn’t have a very comfortable start because I basically told my counsellor everything that was happening in my head. They (not saying if my counsellor was male or female – personal preference) of course listened to me, and I left that room feeling worse than when I went in.
The second time I thought would be a little better and slightly more chilled. Again, I just didn’t like the way my thoughts were played with, if you will. Counselling made me think things I didn’t want to be thinking about and I don’t like thinking about things in depth as it is because I’m such a bad over thinker!
As well as not making me feel the best, it caused me stress and bursts of complete sadness and being down, because I was missing my Thursday afternoon sessions, which considering I only see this tutor once a week, these Thursday sessions are pretty important to me.
I wasn’t a fan of the over thinking and the way my thoughts were toyed with. I can’t explain it very well, (I’m bad with words I’m sorry) but after the first 4 weeks I decided it wasn’t what I wanted at all.
If you have any experiences with counselling you’d like to share, please do so. Lots of people have the same trouble I did and since not going I can honestly say I’ve been so much happier.
Its noy very lengthy but thank you very much for reading this post. I hope it helped someone ♡
Until next time,