One of Those Days | AbiSays

Hello everyone,

Today has very much been my definition of a typical summer day for me. I have quite literally spent the day moping about the house rather than being out and about, which don’t get me wrong is actually fairly crap but the past few weeks I have been up and out and getting out of the house trying to find places to adventure to and explore.

Recently, I’ve just not had anywhere to go as a whole. I know places I can go but everywhere in these towns or cities or villages I have managed to explore the majority of already.

I spent the last three weeks maybe? going to and from my local city – Chester. With friends I have already there, I have managed to find new places I didn’t know about which was fun at the time; its just now looking back I couldn’t go back to these places and not find anything new or interesting because my friends quite literally show me every nook and cranny in these places.

I’ve also had some of those really chill days moping about in my own house and in other people’s houses which have again, been lovely and sometimes I much prefer these days to those days where you spend the whole entire day walking about and getting your step count up.

Today has been a day of sitting in, messing about with makeup, planning a couple of blog posts and I actually managed to film two videos today, so I’m quite happy. I’ve also been vlogging but because I’ve not been doing anything, there’s nothing for me to actually put together for a vlog, which is defeating the object completely of creating a vlog.

I am very tired though purely because of the fact since breaking up from college, my s,eep pattern has been completely and utterly destroyed. (also the fact my body just can’t stay asleep) I’ve been falling asleep at the most stupid times of the night. Last week I had the full week of not falling asleep until half 3 in the morning and its starting to kinda effect me during the day now. My sleeping is completely and utterly ruined, so if anyone has any ideas of how I can get to sleep at a reasonable time and train my body back into a sleeping pattern, please let me know!

I’m going to go and post this blog and then create the thumbnail, and hopefully get these two videos edited as well as writing another post. Wish me luck!

Until next time,

~Abi <3

 

Local Girl Missing Review | AbiSays

Good morning / afternoon / evening everyone,

Today I have decided to write a different kind of post. I don’t usually write reviews but this book was definitely worthy of a review.

This is Local Girl Missing by Claire Douglas. I thoroughly enjoyed this book from start to finish. Following a diary format, we follow the lives and stories of Francesca Howe and Sophie Collier who were best friends before Sophie made her disappearance.
After finding out Sophie’s remains had been found, Francesca made her way back to their seaside home town to try and figure out what happened the evening Sophie disappeared with help from Sophie’s brother.

I particularly enjoyed the writing style Claire used in this book to write the story and almost make you feel as though you were there in the town  – experiencing the things Francesca was experiencing.

The book stays throughout as an eerie atmosphere and there are no moments of pure happiness and blue skies until the very end. The characters are particularly interesting and leave you with questions about them individually and their links towards Sophie’s disappearance. It almost leaves you becoming a detective in the story as there are so many possible links to what happened to Sophie that evening.

This book was a recommendation off one of my friends and I have managed to finish it before them, and was so intrigued by it I simply couldn’t put it down until my questions were answered.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is a complete book worm and loves stories with different twists and turns to them, especially if you’re secretly a detective when it comes to story lines like these. You can find Claire through her Twitter by clicking here and finding the book here – Local Girl Missing for £6.18 currently!

This is definitely a different kind of post for me and I really hope you enjoyed it and find the book interesting if you buy it after reading this post!

Until next time,

Abi <3

Where Have I Been? | AbiSays

Hello everyone,

Its been a while! A month in fact… Oops

I have been so so busy the past month with coursework for college but I have finally been signed off meaning I have so much more time to be able to dedicate towards not only my blog, but to my YouTube channel too. I am really looking forward to getting back into blogging and vlogging especially over the next month as I embark on a journey to Australia with my family.

Everything has been so very mish mash that its even been hard for me to keep up with myself but I am hoping to delve back into my two platforms as soon as possible. If you don’t follow me over on my YouTube channel, I’d really appreciate if you guys subscribed. You can click here to find it and see the mayhem which I call my life!

I have been really inspired by so many YouTubers recently, especially vloggers such as Zoe, Molly, and Ebony and have just been given that motivation I needed to get back into the swing of things.

I really hope to see you over here on my blog but also on my channel too. There will be vlogs hopefully going up all through July so i am very excited for the next month!

I do apologise for not being able to come over here and talk to you guys for such a long time but I really appreciate the patience! (There are now 94 of you, which I think is absolutely insane!)

Until next time,

~ Abi x

The Past Two Weeks… | AbiSays

Good evening all,

Currently writing this very hesitantly but also hoping things stop soon. Sure enough everyone reading this would have heard about the incident last week regarding Ariana Grande’s concert in Manchester on May 22nd. I am utterly heart broken for those 22 people who lost their lives and to the 100+ people injured and for the families who are having a tough time. My thoughts and prayers are with you if you were unfortunately involved.

This evening, I am watching the BBC news following the incident on London Bridge which is absolutely heart breaking and more and more things keep happening. This incident hasn’t been confirmed as a terror attack as of yet, but currently they’ve found out a knife has been involved and its just so scary because again, these events keep happening.

I just wanted to leave my thoughts with those injured this week because of these events and I can’t believe people keep causing terror and injuries and upset in the world.

I felt it was right to write this post, and it is a little different being my second post after getting back into the swing of things again, but I do hope everyone is okay..

With Love,

~Abi <3

Being Away From Blogging… | AbiSays

Hello all,

Been such a long time since I’ve uploaded a post of any sort, and let me tell you I wish i could have kept up to date with you all and kept on uploading posts. Believe me, I’ve kinda missed this little corner of the internet. 

So where have I been? Whats been going on since I last uploaded on March 24th?! (Oops) Thats something like 2 and a half months… oh my. Right, so.

Last time, I spoke about my experience with counselling. I have not been back to counselling since leaving and I’m currently in a toss up of going back or not, because of things happening in the next two months regarding my family moving to Australia, which I will talk about in another post soon. However, since leaving counselling I’ve had some good times, and some bad and not a lot has been easy. College is as stressful as ever,  and the year is finally coming to a close and I have like 25 days left until our 2 and a half month (i think) summer.

Since not blogging, my life has pretty much been preoccupied with work, college work and making time for friends and family things. I am now out of  a job again (post coming soon) and basically living off what I was paid and already I have bought a FitBit, a ukulele capo for my sister, a new book, lil bits of food and I ordered myself a dominos earlier tonight too because I can and I decided to treat myself.

Such a small update but I really hope to get back into blogging again. Its currently 47 past 12 at night and I’m re-watching Vania & Jodie’s moving vlogs which are my fave types of vlogs to watch! 

Hope to see you back here soon,

With love,

~Abi <3 

Featured image credits to http://kaboompics.com/

My Experience with Counselling | AbiSays

Good evening all.

This is a slight spontaneous post and really unplanned. I decided to write about counselling and my experience with it to sort of get a point across that it isn’t always rays of sunshine and that it doesn’t necessarily help everyone.

I started counselling about a month ago and decided to discharge myself due to me not being happy at all.

I went into counselling to try and find the source of my anxiety in college and general everyday life.

To give you a brief outline, I found myself very anxious during college time for a good 3 – 4 months during the time my anxiety was at its peak. Counselling was a very controversial thing for me because I couldn’t decide on what exactly it was I wanted to do about it.

My personal tutor  (who isn’t my personal tutor anymore but he needs to be) suggested a few times to me to try speaking to someone. I however, decided not to for 2 of those months purely because the thought of speaking to someone was something that scared me. I’m not one to cry to people about the way I feel, but my anxiety really didn’t make me comfortable in college and I had a fear of having a panic attack practically everywhere I went.

So to get into my counselling experience- To start with, I didn’t have a very comfortable start because I basically told my counsellor everything that was happening in my head. They (not saying if my counsellor was male or female – personal preference) of course listened to me, and I left that room feeling worse than when I went in.

The second time I thought would be a little better and slightly more chilled. Again, I just didn’t like the way my thoughts were played with, if you will. Counselling made me think things I didn’t want to be thinking about and I don’t like thinking about things in depth as it is because I’m such a bad over thinker!

As well as not making me feel the best, it caused me stress and bursts of complete sadness and being down, because I was missing my Thursday afternoon sessions, which considering I only see this tutor once a week, these Thursday sessions are pretty important to me.

I wasn’t a fan of the over thinking and the way my thoughts were toyed with. I can’t explain it very well, (I’m bad with words I’m sorry) but after the first 4 weeks I decided it wasn’t what I wanted at all.

If you have any experiences with counselling you’d like to share, please do so. Lots of people have the same trouble I did and since not going I can honestly say I’ve been so much happier.

Its noy very lengthy but thank you very much for reading this post. I hope it helped someone ♡

Until next time,

~Abi♡

My Mental Health and How I’m Feeling | #2

Hello everyone, welcome back

Today I have decided to do another of these posts as it has been two months since I posted my last so I thought I’d give you an update of everything because quite a few things have changed.

In my last mental health post I mentioned my struggle with maths and actually attending college and college basically being a big obstacle for me to tackle everyday. Things have changed a little bit with that in mind.
Coming to college now is easier. When I wrote my last post, things were difficult in college due to my tutor being off and there being a big workload in his absence. As well as that, there was college drama which  I will not be mentioning at all on this blog. (Purely because its pointless putting it on the internet and basically putting everything on here)

On Thursday of last week (16th) I attended my first counselling session, which went well but basically made me an anxious wreck. All I’ll say is I’m going to counselling to help my anxiety within college, and hopefully it’ll help me find college easier.

College still isn’t the easiest thing or place for me to go, because the struggles I have with anxiety and I’ll be honest by saying things have been a lot easier recently and I think that’s purely because I’m blocking drama out, and irrelevant people who seem to have made me have that struggle of coming into college.

In other things, I have only had one attack in the past month and a half which I’m really happy about because when I’m having an attack, I really don’t know what to do with myself and all I can concentrate on is the fact I can’t breathe and my chest is closing in on me, and its the only thing on my mind when having an attack, nevermind trying to calm the attack itself.

I think what has helped me most is the fact I’ve been surrounding myself with friends and my friendship group from high school (We’ve stayed friends all through primary and high school, and still going strong) and they really help me when I’m feeling crappy. In college I quite literally have three people in my class who are always there when I feel down.

Something else that I think has really helped is I have recently gotten in a relationship, and after my last relationship, I have been so scared of getting hurt again and the best thing for me is the fact I can trust him so so much and when I’m around him I feel like I can relax and be myself and feel safe and good about myself. He’s a very important person to me and I adore him so much. (If you’re reading this, I can’t thank you enough and I love you <3 )

So to tell you honestly, I’m feeling so much better the last couple of months and I want to thank everyone who has helped me the past month or two. You’re incredible.

Thankyou all very much for reading,

Until next time,

~Abi

 

YouTube vs Blogging | AbiSays

Hey everyone, welcome back.

Recently I’ve been thinking about the differences I’ve noticed between blogging and creating YouTube videos, and people think the difference in the amount of work put into the two of them is different, when in all reality, they are incredibly similar.

It is now coming up to almost a year when I posted my first blog post. This post was about my daily makeup routine, which I titled ‘The Daily Face – 29th April’ (click to read) . I loved that post as did a lot of people, so I was motivated to start blogging again properly. However, because of exams, I couldn’t stick to it which was honestly something I regret because I love writing about things I love or have strong opinions of.

Looking back on my YouTube life, I had been creating videos since at least 2011 / 2012 and I had started with a few collab channels, and a few joint channels with friends until deciding to launch my own channel which started as FloralLegacy, then LowDefintion, until I finally decided on AbiSays. My first video was posted on the same day I started my channel which was May 1st 2014. The first video I posted was ‘The Cup Song’ and this got about 5,000 views in about a month which I was incredibly happy with. I didn’t actually like the video because you could hear me mess up and hear family in the background so I took it down, but after that month of posting the first video, I had already managed to bag myself around 100 subscribers.
Starting out with YouTube is so much harder I think than starting up a blog, especially today. Today there are a lot of younger teenagers and people wanting to start YouTube and they’re all heading down the same route. Beauty.

When I say I think starting YouTube is harder than starting blogging, I think people are trying to get their videos out there but because of the amount of people and competition of new YouTubers, people’s videos and content isn’t being seen and they aren’t getting the audience and feedback as easy as they  used to be able.

In all honesty, I thought it was going to be hard to set up a blog and try and gain viewers / readers to my blog, but its honestly so much easier than what I thought and people like you my readers are seeing my content and I have gained followers much faster than what I thought I would.

Despite having my channel for almost 3 years, subscribers just don’t appear despite how much effort I put into editing and uploading and filming my videos. For me this is mainly the reason I came to blogging. I’m purely going to use my channel for my own use now of uploading small videos that are like vlogs or just little segments of my day like the ‘My Day in 48.5 Seconds’ videos. 

When it comes to the effort of uploading a blog post, you have to think of your ideas and generate them and try and think of something people haven’t read before or seen in a while. As well as that, you also have the featured image which is optional. You have to make this featured image look attractive to drag viewers and readers to your content on your blog, very much like a YouTube thumbnail. 

My point of this post is that blogging and youtube are very similar and if you want to start on one of these platforms, I would suggest starting are blog first. Readers come much faster than subscribers and viewers. – but that’s just my opinion.

I apologise for not uploading in such aren’t long time, but I’ll be back and trying to upload a post 3 times a week, which might be a challenge but I’m not going to know if I don’t try.
Until next time, 

~Abi♡

Misuse of Feeling Anxious

Hello everyone welcome back to my “new” blog. I say “blog” because my dad has helped me convert this site to a self hosted site. I am now abisays.co.uk and I’m very happy to be back blogging.

Tonight’s post is however going to be a little serious than normal.

The past few weeks with college and anxiety have been absolute hell and extremely hard for me to cope with and there have been many times in the past two weeks where I’ve had to try so hard to stop myself from breaking down in college around my friends. I’m terrified of having an attack in college and I had one on the first day back which was hard for me to cope with because I basically had a teacher shouting at me in front of a whole class but I won’t say anymore to avoid me getting into trouble.

Since then it has purely been a case of me having to keep everything in and try to control my anxiousness and nervous state and conceal it from fellow classmates.

Something which does bug me however, is people who misuse the term of being anxious. I don’t think people understand being anxious isn’t just being nervous. It’s a whole bunch of things on top of that altogether.

When I’m anxious, my chest becomes extremely tight incredibly fast and it feels like someone has their hands squishing my lungs as hard as they can. I shake uncontrollably and can’t concentrate on my breathing. I get a sharp pain in my chest too just under the rib cage and I become dizzy and my palms get clammy and yes, I do feel nervous but I don’t know why.

The thing is with my anxiety, I could be quite happy one minute and the next I’m having an attack for no reason at all even if I have absolutely nothing to be anxious about. I can’t control myself at all in this state. I have to let it ease and no matter what people offer me, nothing works. The only thing I can do is try and get my breathing back to normality and try and cope on my own.

I know some of you are probably wondering why I don’t go and find someone when I’m feeling anxious in college or when I’m in class. That it’s purely because I can’t get up and leave because I feel like I’m attention seeking and that is the last thing I want. I don’t want people coming to me after I come back in and pestering me about why I got up and left. I’m physically scared to get up, tell the teacher I’m anxious and feel an attack coming and go. I have to sit there in the state I’m in and control it the very best I possibly can which is of course absolutely ridiculous and something I need to sort out and try and get over.

In college I have been offered counselling about three times and this final time I decided to take it on. I believe college can help me get over this horrid state I am when I’m anxious much better than what they could in high school  (another post coming on that soon). I’ll update on how I’m feeling very soon but for now this has been the constant me at least once every day since going back to college.

Sorry to end on such a shaky note, I hope this post has helped some people understand what anxiety attacks really feel like. If you ever need any help or advice at all please please don’t fret from sending me an email- abimoss14@gmail.com or inboxing me on Twitter or Instagram which address both @abim0ss.

I’ll speak to you all soon.

With love,

~Abi ♡

Next time you think you’re anxious or tell someone you’re anxious please please consider what I’ve said in this post – because even I can’t get up and tell anyone I’m feeling anxious when I am. 

College Morning Routine | Winter | AD

Hello everyone, happy new year!

Today I have a post to share with you about my college morning routine for the winter time because as the season comes in, days are shorter and nights are longer and if we’re all completely honest, waking up and going to sleep hardly make any difference!

6:30am

My morning starts at half six when I am awoken with my 6.30 alarm. (My alarm is Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran – if you were curious) At this point, I pretty much refuse to wake up and get ready and face the day because I really can’t be bothered leaving my lovely warm bed. I usually wait till its around 6:35 to give me some time to reply to any messages from overnight or emails, and then hop (slowly and reluctantly) out of bed  to get myself dressed.

6:45

By the time I’m dressed, its usually 6:45 and I nip downstairs to get anything I may need from the night before – such as my student ID or a bag or a pair of shoes I want to wear that day. Whilst I’m downstairs I make myself a drink which is usually a small glass of juice or water because I hate drinking anything at all in the morning. Recently I’ve been using the Forza Wheat Grass, Avocado and Cucumber Beauty Care Supplements which are absolutely amazing and make me feel like a normal healthy person! I take one of these in the morning as the box says to take 2 capsules daily with food – so I usually have a couple of biscuits or a small bowl of cereal (provided I have time) and take one of the capsules.

The great thing about these supplements is that they are infused with Zinc to help maintain normal hair, skin, and nails. After I take one of the Forza supplements, I take a Coconut Quench capsule by Regime London and this helps improve and maintain skin hydration and for someone like me this is super important!
The benefits of the Coconut Quench consist of improving skin hydration just after three weeks including the skin and body, and also helps to reduce damage left from cosmetics making it easier to apply makeup.

I’m going to be honest and say the Coconut Quench are definitely the nicer tasting of the two but at the end of the day, it is so worth taking them because of the benefits they both have.

After taking the supplements, I check the time and its usually ten to by this time, so I let our dog out in the back garden for a few minutes, get him back in, dry his paws, and head back upstairs again. My mum is usually awake by this point so I say goodbye to her and my dad before I head out the door.

6:50(ish)

Here is where the rush begins. Time slips away so ridiculously fast in the mornings and I panic about missing the bus. (It’ll happen one day) So with twenty five(ish) minutes to get sorted, I sit on my phone again for a little while and pack my bag and make sure I have all the necessary things I need.

After that’s all done, its usually 7, so my brother and sister will be waking up meaning I need to get into the bathroom and brush my teeth, (which now takes about 5-10 minutes because I have braces meaning I have to make sure my brace is clean) brush my hair and make sure I 100% have everything I need. If I need to or want to, I slip some makeup into a little makeup bag and pop that into my bag for the day.

7:05

With 10 minutes to get downstairs, unlock the door and just generally get ready, I make my way downstairs. Recently I’ve been so obsessed with wearing my scarf and it has been my go to staple for a good few weeks now, and works perfectly for the chilly windy mornings. I grab my scarf and coat from the cupboard and whack those on. I usually forget about my student ID until last second and have to run back upstairs to get it and put it on. (You can’t get anywhere in college without your ID)

I’ve been stirring more towards wearing boots the past few weeks and fluffy socks, so I put those on too.

7:15

The last thing left for me to do is unlock the door, grab my bag and go! The mornings are always super fast and I find myself rushing but I can’t bring myself to wake up any earlier.

So that was my morning routine! Let me know what key things you have to do in the mornings to make sure you’re awake and ready to go! This post was kindly sponsored by Forza and Regime London and you can find their products –

Forza Beauty Care – http://amzn.to/2jD2xPx

Regime London Coconut Quench – http://amzn.to/2jD8Fr6

Thank you all very much for reading and again, a happy new year! Let me know if you want to see a video of this routine!

Until next time,

~Abi

Instagram – @abim0ss

Twitter – @abim0ss

YouTube – Abi Says

*This post was kindly sponsored by Regime London and Forza – thank you to the companies who have sent me their products*