Misuse of Feeling Anxious

Hello everyone welcome back to my “new” blog. I say “blog” because my dad has helped me convert this site to a self hosted site. I am now abisays.co.uk and I’m very happy to be back blogging.

Tonight’s post is however going to be a little serious than normal.

The past few weeks with college and anxiety have been absolute hell and extremely hard for me to cope with and there have been many times in the past two weeks where I’ve had to try so hard to stop myself from breaking down in college around my friends. I’m terrified of having an attack in college and I had one on the first day back which was hard for me to cope with because I basically had a teacher shouting at me in front of a whole class but I won’t say anymore to avoid me getting into trouble.

Since then it has purely been a case of me having to keep everything in and try to control my anxiousness and nervous state and conceal it from fellow classmates.

Something which does bug me however, is people who misuse the term of being anxious. I don’t think people understand being anxious isn’t just being nervous. It’s a whole bunch of things on top of that altogether.

When I’m anxious, my chest becomes extremely tight incredibly fast and it feels like someone has their hands squishing my lungs as hard as they can. I shake uncontrollably and can’t concentrate on my breathing. I get a sharp pain in my chest too just under the rib cage and I become dizzy and my palms get clammy and yes, I do feel nervous but I don’t know why.

The thing is with my anxiety, I could be quite happy one minute and the next I’m having an attack for no reason at all even if I have absolutely nothing to be anxious about. I can’t control myself at all in this state. I have to let it ease and no matter what people offer me, nothing works. The only thing I can do is try and get my breathing back to normality and try and cope on my own.

I know some of you are probably wondering why I don’t go and find someone when I’m feeling anxious in college or when I’m in class. That it’s purely because I can’t get up and leave because I feel like I’m attention seeking and that is the last thing I want. I don’t want people coming to me after I come back in and pestering me about why I got up and left. I’m physically scared to get up, tell the teacher I’m anxious and feel an attack coming and go. I have to sit there in the state I’m in and control it the very best I possibly can which is of course absolutely ridiculous and something I need to sort out and try and get over.

In college I have been offered counselling about three times and this final time I decided to take it on. I believe college can help me get over this horrid state I am when I’m anxious much better than what they could in high school  (another post coming on that soon). I’ll update on how I’m feeling very soon but for now this has been the constant me at least once every day since going back to college.

Sorry to end on such a shaky note, I hope this post has helped some people understand what anxiety attacks really feel like. If you ever need any help or advice at all please please don’t fret from sending me an email- abimoss14@gmail.com or inboxing me on Twitter or Instagram which address both @abim0ss.

I’ll speak to you all soon.

With love,

~Abi ♡

Next time you think you’re anxious or tell someone you’re anxious please please consider what I’ve said in this post – because even I can’t get up and tell anyone I’m feeling anxious when I am. 

College Morning Routine | Winter | AD

Hello everyone, happy new year!

Today I have a post to share with you about my college morning routine for the winter time because as the season comes in, days are shorter and nights are longer and if we’re all completely honest, waking up and going to sleep hardly make any difference!

6:30am

My morning starts at half six when I am awoken with my 6.30 alarm. (My alarm is Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran – if you were curious) At this point, I pretty much refuse to wake up and get ready and face the day because I really can’t be bothered leaving my lovely warm bed. I usually wait till its around 6:35 to give me some time to reply to any messages from overnight or emails, and then hop (slowly and reluctantly) out of bed  to get myself dressed.

6:45

By the time I’m dressed, its usually 6:45 and I nip downstairs to get anything I may need from the night before – such as my student ID or a bag or a pair of shoes I want to wear that day. Whilst I’m downstairs I make myself a drink which is usually a small glass of juice or water because I hate drinking anything at all in the morning. Recently I’ve been using the Forza Wheat Grass, Avocado and Cucumber Beauty Care Supplements which are absolutely amazing and make me feel like a normal healthy person! I take one of these in the morning as the box says to take 2 capsules daily with food – so I usually have a couple of biscuits or a small bowl of cereal (provided I have time) and take one of the capsules.

The great thing about these supplements is that they are infused with Zinc to help maintain normal hair, skin, and nails. After I take one of the Forza supplements, I take a Coconut Quench capsule by Regime London and this helps improve and maintain skin hydration and for someone like me this is super important!
The benefits of the Coconut Quench consist of improving skin hydration just after three weeks including the skin and body, and also helps to reduce damage left from cosmetics making it easier to apply makeup.

I’m going to be honest and say the Coconut Quench are definitely the nicer tasting of the two but at the end of the day, it is so worth taking them because of the benefits they both have.

After taking the supplements, I check the time and its usually ten to by this time, so I let our dog out in the back garden for a few minutes, get him back in, dry his paws, and head back upstairs again. My mum is usually awake by this point so I say goodbye to her and my dad before I head out the door.

6:50(ish)

Here is where the rush begins. Time slips away so ridiculously fast in the mornings and I panic about missing the bus. (It’ll happen one day) So with twenty five(ish) minutes to get sorted, I sit on my phone again for a little while and pack my bag and make sure I have all the necessary things I need.

After that’s all done, its usually 7, so my brother and sister will be waking up meaning I need to get into the bathroom and brush my teeth, (which now takes about 5-10 minutes because I have braces meaning I have to make sure my brace is clean) brush my hair and make sure I 100% have everything I need. If I need to or want to, I slip some makeup into a little makeup bag and pop that into my bag for the day.

7:05

With 10 minutes to get downstairs, unlock the door and just generally get ready, I make my way downstairs. Recently I’ve been so obsessed with wearing my scarf and it has been my go to staple for a good few weeks now, and works perfectly for the chilly windy mornings. I grab my scarf and coat from the cupboard and whack those on. I usually forget about my student ID until last second and have to run back upstairs to get it and put it on. (You can’t get anywhere in college without your ID)

I’ve been stirring more towards wearing boots the past few weeks and fluffy socks, so I put those on too.

7:15

The last thing left for me to do is unlock the door, grab my bag and go! The mornings are always super fast and I find myself rushing but I can’t bring myself to wake up any earlier.

So that was my morning routine! Let me know what key things you have to do in the mornings to make sure you’re awake and ready to go! This post was kindly sponsored by Forza and Regime London and you can find their products –

Forza Beauty Care – http://amzn.to/2jD2xPx

Regime London Coconut Quench – http://amzn.to/2jD8Fr6

Thank you all very much for reading and again, a happy new year! Let me know if you want to see a video of this routine!

Until next time,

~Abi

Instagram – @abim0ss

Twitter – @abim0ss

YouTube – Abi Says

*This post was kindly sponsored by Regime London and Forza – thank you to the companies who have sent me their products*