The Past Two Weeks… | AbiSays

Good evening all,

Currently writing this very hesitantly but also hoping things stop soon. Sure enough everyone reading this would have heard about the incident last week regarding Ariana Grande’s concert in Manchester on May 22nd. I am utterly heart broken for those 22 people who lost their lives and to the 100+ people injured and for the families who are having a tough time. My thoughts and prayers are with you if you were unfortunately involved.

This evening, I am watching the BBC news following the incident on London Bridge which is absolutely heart breaking and more and more things keep happening. This incident hasn’t been confirmed as a terror attack as of yet, but currently they’ve found out a knife has been involved and its just so scary because again, these events keep happening.

I just wanted to leave my thoughts with those injured this week because of these events and I can’t believe people keep causing terror and injuries and upset in the world.

I felt it was right to write this post, and it is a little different being my second post after getting back into the swing of things again, but I do hope everyone is okay..

With Love,

~Abi <3

Being Away From Blogging… | AbiSays

Hello all,

Been such a long time since I’ve uploaded a post of any sort, and let me tell you I wish i could have kept up to date with you all and kept on uploading posts. Believe me, I’ve kinda missed this little corner of the internet. 

So where have I been? Whats been going on since I last uploaded on March 24th?! (Oops) Thats something like 2 and a half months… oh my. Right, so.

Last time, I spoke about my experience with counselling. I have not been back to counselling since leaving and I’m currently in a toss up of going back or not, because of things happening in the next two months regarding my family moving to Australia, which I will talk about in another post soon. However, since leaving counselling I’ve had some good times, and some bad and not a lot has been easy. College is as stressful as ever,  and the year is finally coming to a close and I have like 25 days left until our 2 and a half month (i think) summer.

Since not blogging, my life has pretty much been preoccupied with work, college work and making time for friends and family things. I am now out of  a job again (post coming soon) and basically living off what I was paid and already I have bought a FitBit, a ukulele capo for my sister, a new book, lil bits of food and I ordered myself a dominos earlier tonight too because I can and I decided to treat myself.

Such a small update but I really hope to get back into blogging again. Its currently 47 past 12 at night and I’m re-watching Vania & Jodie’s moving vlogs which are my fave types of vlogs to watch! 

Hope to see you back here soon,

With love,

~Abi <3 

Featured image credits to http://kaboompics.com/

My Experience with Counselling | AbiSays

Good evening all.

This is a slight spontaneous post and really unplanned. I decided to write about counselling and my experience with it to sort of get a point across that it isn’t always rays of sunshine and that it doesn’t necessarily help everyone.

I started counselling about a month ago and decided to discharge myself due to me not being happy at all.

I went into counselling to try and find the source of my anxiety in college and general everyday life.

To give you a brief outline, I found myself very anxious during college time for a good 3 – 4 months during the time my anxiety was at its peak. Counselling was a very controversial thing for me because I couldn’t decide on what exactly it was I wanted to do about it.

My personal tutor  (who isn’t my personal tutor anymore but he needs to be) suggested a few times to me to try speaking to someone. I however, decided not to for 2 of those months purely because the thought of speaking to someone was something that scared me. I’m not one to cry to people about the way I feel, but my anxiety really didn’t make me comfortable in college and I had a fear of having a panic attack practically everywhere I went.

So to get into my counselling experience- To start with, I didn’t have a very comfortable start because I basically told my counsellor everything that was happening in my head. They (not saying if my counsellor was male or female – personal preference) of course listened to me, and I left that room feeling worse than when I went in.

The second time I thought would be a little better and slightly more chilled. Again, I just didn’t like the way my thoughts were played with, if you will. Counselling made me think things I didn’t want to be thinking about and I don’t like thinking about things in depth as it is because I’m such a bad over thinker!

As well as not making me feel the best, it caused me stress and bursts of complete sadness and being down, because I was missing my Thursday afternoon sessions, which considering I only see this tutor once a week, these Thursday sessions are pretty important to me.

I wasn’t a fan of the over thinking and the way my thoughts were toyed with. I can’t explain it very well, (I’m bad with words I’m sorry) but after the first 4 weeks I decided it wasn’t what I wanted at all.

If you have any experiences with counselling you’d like to share, please do so. Lots of people have the same trouble I did and since not going I can honestly say I’ve been so much happier.

Its noy very lengthy but thank you very much for reading this post. I hope it helped someone ♡

Until next time,

~Abi♡

My Mental Health and How I’m Feeling | #2

Hello everyone, welcome back

Today I have decided to do another of these posts as it has been two months since I posted my last so I thought I’d give you an update of everything because quite a few things have changed.

In my last mental health post I mentioned my struggle with maths and actually attending college and college basically being a big obstacle for me to tackle everyday. Things have changed a little bit with that in mind.
Coming to college now is easier. When I wrote my last post, things were difficult in college due to my tutor being off and there being a big workload in his absence. As well as that, there was college drama which  I will not be mentioning at all on this blog. (Purely because its pointless putting it on the internet and basically putting everything on here)

On Thursday of last week (16th) I attended my first counselling session, which went well but basically made me an anxious wreck. All I’ll say is I’m going to counselling to help my anxiety within college, and hopefully it’ll help me find college easier.

College still isn’t the easiest thing or place for me to go, because the struggles I have with anxiety and I’ll be honest by saying things have been a lot easier recently and I think that’s purely because I’m blocking drama out, and irrelevant people who seem to have made me have that struggle of coming into college.

In other things, I have only had one attack in the past month and a half which I’m really happy about because when I’m having an attack, I really don’t know what to do with myself and all I can concentrate on is the fact I can’t breathe and my chest is closing in on me, and its the only thing on my mind when having an attack, nevermind trying to calm the attack itself.

I think what has helped me most is the fact I’ve been surrounding myself with friends and my friendship group from high school (We’ve stayed friends all through primary and high school, and still going strong) and they really help me when I’m feeling crappy. In college I quite literally have three people in my class who are always there when I feel down.

Something else that I think has really helped is I have recently gotten in a relationship, and after my last relationship, I have been so scared of getting hurt again and the best thing for me is the fact I can trust him so so much and when I’m around him I feel like I can relax and be myself and feel safe and good about myself. He’s a very important person to me and I adore him so much. (If you’re reading this, I can’t thank you enough and I love you <3 )

So to tell you honestly, I’m feeling so much better the last couple of months and I want to thank everyone who has helped me the past month or two. You’re incredible.

Thankyou all very much for reading,

Until next time,

~Abi

 

YouTube vs Blogging | AbiSays

Hey everyone, welcome back.

Recently I’ve been thinking about the differences I’ve noticed between blogging and creating YouTube videos, and people think the difference in the amount of work put into the two of them is different, when in all reality, they are incredibly similar.

It is now coming up to almost a year when I posted my first blog post. This post was about my daily makeup routine, which I titled ‘The Daily Face – 29th April’ (click to read) . I loved that post as did a lot of people, so I was motivated to start blogging again properly. However, because of exams, I couldn’t stick to it which was honestly something I regret because I love writing about things I love or have strong opinions of.

Looking back on my YouTube life, I had been creating videos since at least 2011 / 2012 and I had started with a few collab channels, and a few joint channels with friends until deciding to launch my own channel which started as FloralLegacy, then LowDefintion, until I finally decided on AbiSays. My first video was posted on the same day I started my channel which was May 1st 2014. The first video I posted was ‘The Cup Song’ and this got about 5,000 views in about a month which I was incredibly happy with. I didn’t actually like the video because you could hear me mess up and hear family in the background so I took it down, but after that month of posting the first video, I had already managed to bag myself around 100 subscribers.
Starting out with YouTube is so much harder I think than starting up a blog, especially today. Today there are a lot of younger teenagers and people wanting to start YouTube and they’re all heading down the same route. Beauty.

When I say I think starting YouTube is harder than starting blogging, I think people are trying to get their videos out there but because of the amount of people and competition of new YouTubers, people’s videos and content isn’t being seen and they aren’t getting the audience and feedback as easy as they  used to be able.

In all honesty, I thought it was going to be hard to set up a blog and try and gain viewers / readers to my blog, but its honestly so much easier than what I thought and people like you my readers are seeing my content and I have gained followers much faster than what I thought I would.

Despite having my channel for almost 3 years, subscribers just don’t appear despite how much effort I put into editing and uploading and filming my videos. For me this is mainly the reason I came to blogging. I’m purely going to use my channel for my own use now of uploading small videos that are like vlogs or just little segments of my day like the ‘My Day in 48.5 Seconds’ videos. 

When it comes to the effort of uploading a blog post, you have to think of your ideas and generate them and try and think of something people haven’t read before or seen in a while. As well as that, you also have the featured image which is optional. You have to make this featured image look attractive to drag viewers and readers to your content on your blog, very much like a YouTube thumbnail. 

My point of this post is that blogging and youtube are very similar and if you want to start on one of these platforms, I would suggest starting are blog first. Readers come much faster than subscribers and viewers. – but that’s just my opinion.

I apologise for not uploading in such aren’t long time, but I’ll be back and trying to upload a post 3 times a week, which might be a challenge but I’m not going to know if I don’t try.
Until next time, 

~Abi♡

Misuse of Feeling Anxious

Hello everyone welcome back to my “new” blog. I say “blog” because my dad has helped me convert this site to a self hosted site. I am now abisays.co.uk and I’m very happy to be back blogging.

Tonight’s post is however going to be a little serious than normal.

The past few weeks with college and anxiety have been absolute hell and extremely hard for me to cope with and there have been many times in the past two weeks where I’ve had to try so hard to stop myself from breaking down in college around my friends. I’m terrified of having an attack in college and I had one on the first day back which was hard for me to cope with because I basically had a teacher shouting at me in front of a whole class but I won’t say anymore to avoid me getting into trouble.

Since then it has purely been a case of me having to keep everything in and try to control my anxiousness and nervous state and conceal it from fellow classmates.

Something which does bug me however, is people who misuse the term of being anxious. I don’t think people understand being anxious isn’t just being nervous. It’s a whole bunch of things on top of that altogether.

When I’m anxious, my chest becomes extremely tight incredibly fast and it feels like someone has their hands squishing my lungs as hard as they can. I shake uncontrollably and can’t concentrate on my breathing. I get a sharp pain in my chest too just under the rib cage and I become dizzy and my palms get clammy and yes, I do feel nervous but I don’t know why.

The thing is with my anxiety, I could be quite happy one minute and the next I’m having an attack for no reason at all even if I have absolutely nothing to be anxious about. I can’t control myself at all in this state. I have to let it ease and no matter what people offer me, nothing works. The only thing I can do is try and get my breathing back to normality and try and cope on my own.

I know some of you are probably wondering why I don’t go and find someone when I’m feeling anxious in college or when I’m in class. That it’s purely because I can’t get up and leave because I feel like I’m attention seeking and that is the last thing I want. I don’t want people coming to me after I come back in and pestering me about why I got up and left. I’m physically scared to get up, tell the teacher I’m anxious and feel an attack coming and go. I have to sit there in the state I’m in and control it the very best I possibly can which is of course absolutely ridiculous and something I need to sort out and try and get over.

In college I have been offered counselling about three times and this final time I decided to take it on. I believe college can help me get over this horrid state I am when I’m anxious much better than what they could in high school  (another post coming on that soon). I’ll update on how I’m feeling very soon but for now this has been the constant me at least once every day since going back to college.

Sorry to end on such a shaky note, I hope this post has helped some people understand what anxiety attacks really feel like. If you ever need any help or advice at all please please don’t fret from sending me an email- abimoss14@gmail.com or inboxing me on Twitter or Instagram which address both @abim0ss.

I’ll speak to you all soon.

With love,

~Abi ♡

Next time you think you’re anxious or tell someone you’re anxious please please consider what I’ve said in this post – because even I can’t get up and tell anyone I’m feeling anxious when I am. 

College Morning Routine | Winter | AD

Hello everyone, happy new year!

Today I have a post to share with you about my college morning routine for the winter time because as the season comes in, days are shorter and nights are longer and if we’re all completely honest, waking up and going to sleep hardly make any difference!

6:30am

My morning starts at half six when I am awoken with my 6.30 alarm. (My alarm is Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran – if you were curious) At this point, I pretty much refuse to wake up and get ready and face the day because I really can’t be bothered leaving my lovely warm bed. I usually wait till its around 6:35 to give me some time to reply to any messages from overnight or emails, and then hop (slowly and reluctantly) out of bed  to get myself dressed.

6:45

By the time I’m dressed, its usually 6:45 and I nip downstairs to get anything I may need from the night before – such as my student ID or a bag or a pair of shoes I want to wear that day. Whilst I’m downstairs I make myself a drink which is usually a small glass of juice or water because I hate drinking anything at all in the morning. Recently I’ve been using the Forza Wheat Grass, Avocado and Cucumber Beauty Care Supplements which are absolutely amazing and make me feel like a normal healthy person! I take one of these in the morning as the box says to take 2 capsules daily with food – so I usually have a couple of biscuits or a small bowl of cereal (provided I have time) and take one of the capsules.

The great thing about these supplements is that they are infused with Zinc to help maintain normal hair, skin, and nails. After I take one of the Forza supplements, I take a Coconut Quench capsule by Regime London and this helps improve and maintain skin hydration and for someone like me this is super important!
The benefits of the Coconut Quench consist of improving skin hydration just after three weeks including the skin and body, and also helps to reduce damage left from cosmetics making it easier to apply makeup.

I’m going to be honest and say the Coconut Quench are definitely the nicer tasting of the two but at the end of the day, it is so worth taking them because of the benefits they both have.

After taking the supplements, I check the time and its usually ten to by this time, so I let our dog out in the back garden for a few minutes, get him back in, dry his paws, and head back upstairs again. My mum is usually awake by this point so I say goodbye to her and my dad before I head out the door.

6:50(ish)

Here is where the rush begins. Time slips away so ridiculously fast in the mornings and I panic about missing the bus. (It’ll happen one day) So with twenty five(ish) minutes to get sorted, I sit on my phone again for a little while and pack my bag and make sure I have all the necessary things I need.

After that’s all done, its usually 7, so my brother and sister will be waking up meaning I need to get into the bathroom and brush my teeth, (which now takes about 5-10 minutes because I have braces meaning I have to make sure my brace is clean) brush my hair and make sure I 100% have everything I need. If I need to or want to, I slip some makeup into a little makeup bag and pop that into my bag for the day.

7:05

With 10 minutes to get downstairs, unlock the door and just generally get ready, I make my way downstairs. Recently I’ve been so obsessed with wearing my scarf and it has been my go to staple for a good few weeks now, and works perfectly for the chilly windy mornings. I grab my scarf and coat from the cupboard and whack those on. I usually forget about my student ID until last second and have to run back upstairs to get it and put it on. (You can’t get anywhere in college without your ID)

I’ve been stirring more towards wearing boots the past few weeks and fluffy socks, so I put those on too.

7:15

The last thing left for me to do is unlock the door, grab my bag and go! The mornings are always super fast and I find myself rushing but I can’t bring myself to wake up any earlier.

So that was my morning routine! Let me know what key things you have to do in the mornings to make sure you’re awake and ready to go! This post was kindly sponsored by Forza and Regime London and you can find their products –

Forza Beauty Care – http://amzn.to/2jD2xPx

Regime London Coconut Quench – http://amzn.to/2jD8Fr6

Thank you all very much for reading and again, a happy new year! Let me know if you want to see a video of this routine!

Until next time,

~Abi

Instagram – @abim0ss

Twitter – @abim0ss

YouTube – Abi Says

*This post was kindly sponsored by Regime London and Forza – thank you to the companies who have sent me their products*

The Last Day of Blogmas | Blogmas Day 24

Hello everyone, welcome back

You guys have been so so supportive over the Blogmas period here on my blog. There have been over 40 new followers to come and follow my blog and that’s absolutely insane and I can’t thank you all enough!

I’m currently sat here writing this post watching Carols from Kings before settling down with my family to wear our Christmas pyjamas and watch The Grinch. I have loved doing Blogmas this month and its making me love Christmas more and more and writing more too.

Our house is basically all set for the big man to come and visit tonight, and its safe to say I’m excited for a lovely day with family tomorrow. I’m more excited to give my family their presents as I love watching people open their presents and its always something special to watch.

At the start of the month, I was still pretty new to blogging and don’t get me wrong, I still am now; However I was pretty lost with which posts to put up, and had winged it for at least the first week and a half, but after reading other people’s posts, I had managed to gather myself a few post ideas.

I was also added to a lovely Facebook group called Beauties on Fire by the lovely Beth over on everythingandnothin and I’ve gotten to find different blogs through these amazing people which has definitely helped me get used to posting (almost) every day.
Of course, there were the days where I struggled to post a blog everyday, but that was purely due to having absolutely no idea what to post, and my brain for thinking of ideas on the spot really isn’t fab.

I have really enjoyed putting all of my Blogmas posts together and really saw an improvement in my ability to speak to other bloggers about technical aspects of blogging and I’ve managed to improve along the way and improve my posts for you.

I hope you have enjoyed reading my blog posts this month and I really appreciate all of the support along the way!

My final post of 2016 will be tomorrow and it’ll be a Christmas haul!

Until next time,

~Abi <3

Contact me at abimoss14@gmail.com

Books I’ve Read In the Past Few Months | Blogmas Day 23

Hey everyone, welcome back.

This post is so so late!! I’ve been busy all day doing a Secret Santa with my friends and spending time with them all day. I then got my phone camera fixed but I’m finally sat down at 8.30 writing this for you!

Let’s start!

I’m actually genuinely happy with the amount of books I’ve managed to read this month. The first is Girl Online On Tour by Zoe Sugg.

I absolutely loved this book and managed to finish it within three days. I love books which see written in a dairy form, I just find them much more interesting to read. In this book, we meet Penny once again with her rock star boyfriend Noah who, of course goes on tour and takes Penny along with him. I’m still yet to read Going Solo, but I’ve heard it’s amazing and follows Penny and Noah perfectly again.

Book 2

Book number two is Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone by J.K Rowling. I again managed to read this book in the space of 2 – 3 days purely because of the fact it was a brand new book to hit my collection as I had bought a new copy in the Harry Potter World Shop, and I read it on the train back home and loved every chapter as thoroughly as the film. This of course follows Harry Potter in his first year of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as well as his two friends Ron and Hermonie.

Book 3

Lee Evans: The Life of Lee.

As I said about Girl Online, I love books written in a dairy form, or written by the author themselves. In this book you follow the journey of Lee Evans and how he grew up and what his school and home life were like before fame. This book only follows him up to around when he was mid 20s, and this book leaves you on and cliffhanger at the end. (I won’t spoil it)

Book 4

The Night That Changed Everything by Laura Tait and Jimmy Rice.

This book is one of my all time favourites and the story follows the relationship of Rebecca and Ben who are my ultimate goals in all honesty. The book is purely focused on one night which changed absolutely everything between Ben & Rebecca and the whole story is such a roller coaster which I absolutely love! It’s such an interesting read and I’d recommend it to people aged 15 and over!

Again, I’m so sorry this post is so so late. I will upload the featured image tomorrow so the post doesn’t look as boring, and I’ll be back tomorrow with another post.

Till next time,

~Abi♡

Contact me at abimoss14@gmail.com

Christmas Day Makeup | Blogmas Day 22

Hello everyone, welcome back

Today I’ll talk you through the makeup I’ll be using / doing on Christmas Day. It’ll mostly be a golden / red / silver based look with an attempted winged liner.

Primer
To start, I use the Nivea Men’s Sensitive Post Shave Balm. I’ve been using this for the past 6 months or so and I absolutely love it and think its amazing during the autumn and winter months. This primer is currently £5.29 in Superdrug, and is constantly on offer in Tesco for £2.50. Click here for Superdrug price, and click here for Tesco price.

Image result for tesco nivea men shave balm

 

Foundation
I really need to get this foundation soon, so tomorrow I’m going to Superdrug tomorrow to get this, but this is the Rimmel Lasting Finish Foundation. At the moment I am super pale, so I’ll probably get the shade Ivory 100 – provided it is the lightest shade. This foundation is so so nice to wear and one of my all time favourites and for £7.99 you can’t go wrong.

Image result for rimmel lasting finish

Concealer
My most used concealer at the moment is paired with any of the foundation of my choosing. This is the Mac Prolong Wear in NW15 and it was £17 from Debenhams. This is the best concealer for the best coverage and is definitely buildable and easy to wear.

Powder
This powder is a new purchase but I have previously owned it, and this is the Rimmel Clear Complexion Powder and I will always try and get my powder in the lightest shade possible which I get in 021 Transparent. This powder is light, it isn’t cakey and does a really good job. I got mine in Savers for £3.98 and the Rimmel makeup from savers is always under £5 as well as Maybelline too, and it will honestly save you so much! Click here for the Savers site 

Eyebrows
For my eyebrows I will always resort to three products; the MUA ProBrow Eyebrow Kit, Benefit Gimmie Brow and W7 Brow Twister (I can’t find a link for this but I got mine from my local Factory Shop, but you can get them in Beauty Outlet too.)

I would usually apply the wax from the eyebrow kit first, but unfortunately the it runs out so quickly. I will always brush through my brows with a spoolie and then apply the powder to my brows. Then with any spaces I’ve missed, I will apply the W7 Brow Twister (which is a pencil) and lightly fill those areas. Finally I will set my brows into place using the Gimmie Brow. (I have the travel size which came with the Glamour magazine.) The Gimmie Brow also gives your brows that extra definition to make them look fuller.

Eyeshadow
My favourite  golden colour to go with for Christmas time are the colours Dust and Camel from the W7 In The Buff Palette. With a damp Real Techniques Base Shadow brush, I apply the two colours to create a foiled eyeshadow look. Then with the LAROC Summer Eyeshadow palette, I take the dark red and light red combined and put those in the crease. Together these create a really lovely warm effect and warm the eyeshadow and equal everything out.

I’ll show bronzer, contour and highlight in a YouTube video which I am planning to film tomorrow and upload it on the 24th at 10am because these products change depending on the look.

Mascara & Eyeliner
For my mascara and eyeliner, I use the Maybelline Lash Sensational and the Lord and Berry Eyeliner. These products are two of my favourites and I can always go to these products and get the same outcome every time. The Lash Sensational gives your lashes the length and volume you need as well as the formula being amazing. The Lord and Berry eyeliner will always need a good shake to make sure it doesn’t crust throughout the day because this liner has a habit of doing that.

Image result for maybelline lash sensationalImage result for lord and berry eyeliner

Lips
I begin to line my lips with the MUA Nougat Lipliner, and then fill them in with either the NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream in Stockholm, or the Rimmel Kate Lipstick in 30. I will alternate between the two the majority of the time!

Image result for rimmel kate moss lipstick 30

That is everything for my Christmas Makeup! Let me know what your favourite colours are to go for during the Christmas time!

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas,

Thanks for reading,

~Abi♡

 Contact me at abimoss14@gmail.com